Six Things I'm Trying to Not Notice About Today

1.  It's snowing.  Again.  Wasn't yesterday supposed to be the first day of spring?

2.  Thanks to my new friend Prednisone, I went to bed at 11pm, didn't fall asleep until 1am, but was wide awake at 5pm.  Thanks a lot Prednisone.

3.  Also courtesy of that wonderful little Prednisone pill, even though I have done nothing different with my diet, I have gained 12 pounds in two weeks.  Most of it appears to be in my face.  I'm told it's bloat and water weight, but does it matter?  It could be pixie dust weight or cupcake weight, it's still a huge source of increasing insecurity for me.

4.  A bunch of cute dresses I just bought don't fit.  The safety dress I got for those days I feel not-so-sleek because it's loose but still flattering now verges on being a sausage casing.  This is utterly mortifying.

5.  Because I was so fixated on trying to not notice the four points above, I put on my make-up strangely and my hair dried flat.  Basically, I look like a crazy person.

6.  For the first time in my life, I feel trapped by my body.  Don't get me wrong, I've always had issues with my body image...  I'm always heavier than I want, my hair never does what I like, I'm never as toned as I should to be...  But right now, I feel utterly stuck in it.  Truly, it is an awful feeling.  I hope after I'm done with the Prednisone and after my active Lyme and IBD co-infection flare up get under control, I can return to a sense of being me.  

Because right now, all I feel is tired, puffy, and really hungry.  Pretty sure it's not normal to wake up at midnight craving garlic bread.