That's what happens when your husband signs you in at the gym

Ding dong, it's Monday again!  Time to reset and review my goals from last week, set some new ones, and generally celebrate getting another week closer to my goals.  Perhaps one of my goals should be to work on these posts a little earlier so I can get them out on time...  But with new "Mad Men" episodes on Sunday night, that seems pretty unlikely...

Anyway, to recap:

• 12k per day - I hit that every day but Saturday and Sunday.  Honestly, I forgot that my goal was 12k per day this week and I desperately needed rest days so I just hit the 10k and my Fitbit fitness goals and just called it a day.  However, I was 11,600 and 11,800 steps on the two days I fell short, so I didn't fall short by much, and on Friday I was almost 24k steps, so I think we can say it all balances out.  Still, I wish I'd remembered...  And for those keeping track, that's 18 days straight of hitting my step goals. 

• Hitting the Gym - The goal was to hit the gym Monday, Wednesday,

  

  He is totally faking...

  Thursday, and Friday and do fitness classes.  I ended up going to the gym Monday, Wednesday, skipping Thursday because I was sick and it was just a suck day, and going twice on Friday.  I also did my yoga, circuit training, and spinning classes and missing Aqua Zumba (though that was my safety class, I've done it before).  Yoga was an absolute adventure, circuit training was the hardest thing I have ever done and I'm terrible at it (but I've never wanted to be better at a class than I want to be in that one), and spinning was great but those seats...  My tush still hurts.  Oh, that weight training thing I wanted to do?  Totally didn't do it.

• Finally Mooving - I had set the goal to use my Moov three times last week and despite it not saving a workout (frustrating), I used it twice.  Losing that Thursday gym day threw me off, but otherwise I'd have hit this no problem.  Victory alert: I wanted to do Level 7, but I actually hit the equal of Level 10 on Friday without too much misery.  

• Be Nice - I had mixed results here...  This week wasn't as bad as I was worried it would be, but I still could have done way better.  And after yesterday's realizations, I could have done a whole lot better. 

• It's About Family - I did so much better on that this week.  I took time out for breakfast with the family (which is a big deal, that's our main chance to have family time), we took walks and I set aside time to spend with all the kids, one-on-one.  On a related note, I'm now growing about 50 sunflowers in the kitchen.  no idea what I'm going to do with those in a few weeks when they sprout. 

Overall last week, I took 110,895 steps (about 16k per day), went 50.12 miles, and was active 1,013 hours.  Pretty impressive!  Highlights of the week was for sure getting back to the gym and taking some new classes. It was also great that my husband came with me on a few of those days to work out with me.  Since we get free childcare there, we've discovered it's a fantastically sneaky way to get alone time...  Dates at the gym?  A kid-free 2 hours a day with the husband?  I'll take it!

This weeks goals are going to look pretty familiar:

Electronic Coaching - My Fitbit and Moov goals are the same.  12k per day, 100% my goals if I can, and use the Moov three times.  Should be a lot easier this week with my gym schedule.  For once, I'd just like to hit that Moov goal.

Such a faker

• Gym Time is My Time - Back to the gym this week...  Doing one trip on Monday for yoga and Moov, skipping Tuesday (it's impossible with our Tuesday schedule), one trip on Wednesday night for circuit training, then two trips Thursday and Friday for general exercise, weight training, and classes in the evening.  Though I'm thinking about skipping circuit training and hitting the equipment instead...  It is way above my fitness level and I finished last week's class feeling pretty yuck.  There's a lot of ab work and I just can't do it right now, especially with Wednesday as my "all day at the hospital" day.  Plus on Wednesday nights my husband can come with me and there's no quality time together in a class.  It's a great class and I want to be really, really good at it at some point...  But I'm not sure that time is now.  Plus I wasn't really feeling the overall dynamic of the people in the class.  Some pretty snotty people in there.  

• Diet and Exercise - It seems like I either nail the diet portion of my week and the exercise slides, or I nail the exercise portion and the diet slides.  I can't seem to do both together.  So this week will be the week.  Since I've got the green light to go on Weight Watchers again, it'd be nice to get my money's worth out of that subscription for a change.  With my face as puffy as it is, I'm still not ready to hit the meetings again, but I'd like to in a month or so.  Let's say by June 1st.

• Stick to the Schedule - I've kind of set up a schedule for myself to make sure I balance work, gym, and family, and I'd like to stick to it.  It's hard to spend time with all the kids like I'd like to thanks to some issues outside of our control, but I want to figure something out.  I just want to really make sure I keep working to balance my goals, needs, and responsibilities.         

Looking at it, my goals are pretty broad and general this week, and I think that's Ok with me.  I think last week I went a little hard and it's great to hit those goals, but I'd maybe like to feel slightly more functional than I did by the time the weekend came.  There's something to be said for gradual but steady changes I think.  Plus, spring is finally hitting this week and I want to get my butt outside!  It's so bizarre that last Wednesday we got 4 inches of snow and by today it's in the 70's.  Welcome to New Hampshire!

So far this week is shaping up to be pretty busy.  I'm excited that the fine folks at The Color Run have asked me to write an article for them and I can't wait to tackle that.  I've had nothing but great experiences with them and being chosen to write about it is nothing short of ridiculously awesome.  I've also got articles that I've been sitting on that I'll (finally) put out this week, including a kick-butt recipe using bananas and my new obsession,  and an article on gymtimidation.  Turns out that I'm not the only one who faces Mean Girls and other icky negativity at the gym.  Thanks to my fellow Fitfluential fans for inspiring me to (finally) get that article out there.

Speaking of negativity, last week was just one of those weeks where either I or my family had to deal with some soul draining people, toxic and destructive attitudes, and everything that comes with it.  As much as I hate to admit it, I suspect that this week will be more of the same.  Balancing that grossness is one of my constant struggles and I fluctuate between "turn the other cheek" and "I'll make you regret it."  I'm never sure which way is the way to respond as inevitably doing either one makes me feel like I should have done the other.  When I'm quiet, I wish I'd spoken up.  When I speak up, I wish I'd kept quiet.  I think I'm starting to realize the practical solution is somewhere in the middle, but the key no matter how you respond is to not to let other people's negativity weigh you down.  Easier said than done, right?

Maybe that's why the quote for this week appeals to me so much...  Negativity and negative people are a fact of life, it's how you let them impact you that makes the difference:

So let's check in with you guys:

• What are your goals for this week?
• How do you find your balance?
• When faced with negativity, lash out, turn the cheek, or internalize?
• It's spring!

Jerusha

Oh, to be redheaded again...

I have been in a funk.  I mean, that's not a surprise, I knew I was feeling not quite myself lately, but at the same time I guess I didn't realize how big of a funk I've been in.

What was the catalyst to this revelation you ask?

It suddenly dawned on me...  My hair...  It's not red anymore. 

I've been dying my hair various shades of stoplight, copper, even reddish maroon since I was 15 years old (and was begging to do it pretty much daily for about 4 years before that).  My hair has been red for so long that when I casually mentioned my hair isn't naturally red, my own father said "really?"  My Twitter and Instagram both announce my bottle redhead status quite proudly.  I was so obsessed with being a redhead that when I was 19 and dying accident left me with black hair, I spent $400 at a salon getting it corrected back to red, and called out from work because the idea of being seen with black hair was traumatizing.

But right now?  Not red.  Not even a little red.  About two months ago, maybe even three, I dyed it a new color which ended up being more brown then red...  After crying for most of the afternoon, I went and did absolutely nothing to fix it.  So now, I'm very clearly not a redhead anymore, but a brunette.

When I asked myself "this is something about yourself that makes you unhappy...  Why haven't you taken the time to fix it?" my answer to myself was "it's just not worth it."

Hold up, did I just think to myself that doing something that not only stops me from being bummed out about how I look, but would actually make me super happy isn't worth the effort?

That, my friends, is a funk if ever I saw one.

Wore the scarf once, then I thought it made my
face look fat

Then I thought about it a little more...  Why haven't I worn that new dress I thought was super pretty yet?  Because I think when people look at me, they'll think I look dumpy (still hate you Prednisone).  Why haven't I done anything with my hair but put it in a ponytail or a bun for weeks?  Because the Prednisone has given me major moon face and I feel like there's no point in doing my hair when I think all people will see is how puffy I am.  Why did I not go with my husband to see his family?  I was insecure about how I looked, how I felt, and didn't think I could make the trip comfortably or feel good about myself while I was there.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I just kind of have been abandoning myself and things for me because I felt like I just wasn't worth the effort right now.  I kept thinking to myself maybe when I'm off the stupid Prednisone, when I've lost the weight from the medication, when I have somewhere to go and things to do, when all the stars align, and life is perfect, then I'll go back to doing things for me. 

But right now?  I've been operating under the assumption that it, and in turn I, am just not worth it.

So today, I got up, did a great kettlebell workout (hurrah for buying weights to use at home), took a nice, long shower, looked at myself in the mirror and said to myself: 

"Today I'm going to dress in a way that makes me feel good, maybe even pretty."

"I'm going to stop thinking about everything I think is wrong with me, how I look, or how I feel."

"Today I'm going to fix my hair and become a redhead again."

Flowers and a card from my husband

"I'm not going to care what anybody thinks about it.  As long as it makes me happy, it's worth doing."

Already feeling pretty good about life today and I cannot wait to be a redhead again.

Edited to add: I went, found a super cute outfit that I felt super cute in.  I did my make-up and I have to say, I nailed it.  Did my hair, and it looked gorgeous.  I put on my shoes to go out and go shopping...  Then my son threw up all over the floor.

So...  I looked great, but I stayed home all day with a sick kiddo.  I was tempted to change out of the dress and nice shirt I was wearing, but I decided to stick with the plan and stay dressed up all day.  So I was the most overdressed puke cleaner of all time.  

Ah kids and plans... 


So let's discuss:

• How do you break out of a funk?
• Kids, aren't they great?

Jerusha

For those few people who don't know, I'm a proud member of the cult of Fitbit.  Save for the 10 days last January I was between Fitbits (which we shall refer to as the "Fitbit vs. Dryer Incident of 2015"), I've had one of these little gizmos on me ever since I bought it way back in October of 2013.  Not satisfied with having one on myself, I promptly got my brother, mother, and father to get one as well.  I think I also got a few friends to buy them...  And random people on Twitter.  And a lady at Best Buy who was actually just looking for a watch...

Anyway, long story short, I'm a Fitbit fan.

Inevitably when I come across another Fitbit user, we ask each other the same question:

"How do you use your Fitbit?"

Now we know we're not asking each other how to use a Fitbit.  We're asking each other how we use our Fitbit.  That little secret that we have in our back pocket (or our wrist) that helps us take our Fitbit usage to the very next level.  After all, the more we get out of our Fitbits, the more we're getting out of ourselves.  

So, to answer that time-honored Fitbit Fanatic question, here's the five ways I get the most out of my Fitbit:

1.  Fitbit Premium

Yes, Fitbit is nice enough to give you plenty of tools to get an understanding of your overall activity level and you can function quite well with it.  But Fitbit Premium brings all of that to the next level.  It turns your Fitbit from that workout buddy you check in with at the end of the day into that coach who's in your ear telling you to move yo' butt.  From in-depth food and sleep charts to a virtual trainer, it's a great investment in your Fitbit and yourself.  Frankly, I think the trainer feature is worth its weight in gold.  It develops a 12 week plan that gradually and reasonably increases in intensity, leading you to the overall goal of being more active and, in turn, healthier.  I give that plan developed by my virtual trainer that bumped me out of my "lightly active" lifestyle while dealing with Lyme Disease into an "active" lifestyle.  

A sneak peak of my 12-week training report via Fitbit Premium

2.  Set the alarm

Most Fitbits come with a silent, vibrating alarm feature that gently buzzes you out of your peaceful slumber without waking up the neighbors.  Handy right?  Well, it's handier than you think...  I use my alarm daily, and it's not to wake up (that's why Samsung gave us cell phones).  I set my alarm to remind me to get up and move.  Every day at 9am, 12pm, 4pm, and 8pm my little Fitbit Charge HR hums away on my wrist, reminding me that legs are made for walking, not sitting.  After instituting my alarm-based reminders, I've gone from an average of 7,000 steps a day to 12,000.  Bonus: because the alarm is a silent, vibrating alarm, nobody else has to know that I have to set an alarm to remind myself to not be lazy and there's no disruption of my yoga class.

3.  Connect with other fitness-based apps

I'm always surprised by the number of people who don't know that Fitbit plays well with pretty much every other major fitness app.  From MyFitnessPal to Map My Run and even game apps like Wokamon, Fitbit is begging to share data that helps you make the most of your workouts, your eating, and everything in between.  For my money, the best app marriage that's ever been made was when Fitbit and Weight Watchers partnered up to calculate earned activity points based off of Fitbit's data.  Don't have any apps that you want to buddy up your Fitbit with?  At least check out StepStats which shows you just exactly how far you and your Fitbit have come.

4.  Know what you're looking at and what it means

I don't see the problem there...

I was one of those people that thought the sleep information was neat, but not particularly useful to much of anything.  Then I started to feel run down all the time and I couldn't place why.  That's when I gave that sleep tracker a second look.  Every night, I woke up between 2am and 3am and couldn't get back to sleep.  I tried to correlate that to the other information my Fitbit was tracking and it turns out the culprit was my nightly cup of tea at 8pm and the prolonged inactivity after 7pm.  When I bumped my goodnight tea to 7pm and spent 30 minutes doing a hard workout around 8pm, I saw a change in my sleep patterns for the better.  The moral of the story?  Fitbit gives you information, but it means nothing if you don't know how to use it and apply it.  So sit down, really reflect on what your day looks like and how you can challenge yourself.  This could mean anything from increasing your goals to identifying your weaknesses.  Looking to lose weight but you've plateaued?  Look at your stats and see if maybe it's time to bump up your activity level.  Getting your 10k per day easy breezy?  Reset your goal to 12k per day.  Look at how your performing and compare that to your goals then make adjustments.  That's what the data is there for.  And the more data you add, the more likely you can be successful.

15 days baby!

There are so many ways to really take your Fitbit up to the next level, it's hard to hone it down to only four...  There's the social challenges, the social media updates, the live tracking of activities, the GPS mapping of runs...  But I'm going to stick to my four favorite tricks because I think the number five is horribly unlucky and if I do more than five then people will start to wonder if I really love my Fitbit or if I'm obsessed with it.



If you have a Fitbit, it's begging you to use it in a way that makes you the best version of you that you can be.  Hopefully these tricks will help to point you to living that active lifestyle you've always wanted, or at the very least, delight your friends and irritate your competition on social media.  Because if I was going to give you guys five tips, activating your social media auto-shares would be it...  Because it's a fantastic way to find new friends and hold yourself accountable to your activity goals.  

But as I said, I don't like the number five, so I'll only be sharing four tips today.

Now everybody applaud me, I'm on a 15-day Fitbit streak of hitting my step goals.

Want to be my friend?  Find me, friend me, and let's do some challenges together.  

So let's discuss:

• What are your Fitbit secrets?
• The most creative way you've hit your 10k per day?
• What's your longest goal streak achievement?
• Fitbit says I've walked the length of Japan... Pretty impressive!

Jerusha

Calm blue ocean...  Calm blue ocean...

I had a fantastic recipe all ready to go for today that I was super, duper excited to share...  And then I had my first yoga class.  To say it was a unique experience is the understatement of a lifetime.  

Yoga class was at 10:30 and here I was at the gym at 10 on the dot.  I had 20-25 minutes to burn before class so I figured I'd warm up by going to the water park section of my gym (yes, you read that right, my gym has a mini-water park) and power walking around the pool deck.  It's 80 degrees in there, I work up a good sweat, and honestly, it's how I like to start all of my workouts. 

At about 10:25, I'm feeling good and it's time to confidently march into my first ever in-person yoga class.  Headphones in, rocking out to Sia, I grab the doors, whip them open like a tornado, pumped and ready to go, only to find a room that's totally dark, completely dead silent, and a group of women who were meditating with their eyes closed are now staring at me like I'm insane.

First lesson of yoga class...  Perhaps getting amped up for yoga class the same way you get pumped to tear up the treadmill is probably not the way to go.

After blasting through the door like the Kool-Aid Man, I sheepishly clomp across the parquet floors while frantically trying to turn off my music.  My sneakers make a deafeningly loud noise that seems to echo forever.  So much for just trying to blend in.  At least there was a slot in the back row, a spot I figured I was sure to vanish in the class.  I roll out my mat, which is elaborately painted with a lotus that I thought was pretty but since everybody else has plain Jane mats, it kind of makes me feel like a tool.  I slip into my grip aerobic Mary Jane slippers (which also earned me some sideways "what the heck are those?" looks), and then proceed to look really busy until the start of class.  I stretch.  I lay flat and make like I'm clearing my mind or meditating or something meaningful and yoga-like.  I want to check my phone but I don't because I want to unplug.  Then I remind myself to silence it because I don't want to be "that person" during class.  I notice that absolutely everybody is wearing purple shirts and I'm wearing bright pink.  Like, really bright pink.  

But I think it's pretty...

I try to not look like what I was...  The noob who wandered into a class that clearly is the same group of people every week, who have a routine, and know what they're doing. 

Then it's 10:30.  Everybody in the class, save for me and one other woman in front of me start going through the Sun Salutation.  I think to myself "Crap, this is a class where there's no talking or something...  The teacher is one of these chicks, I should be following along!  Crap, crap, crap..."  So I start through the routine too.  I do two cycles, then at 10:35, the teacher wanders in.  If I had read the schedule, I wouldn't have been surprised that the teacher was a guy...  But since I didn't, I was.  It didn't matter of course, but it just made me feel that much more unprepared.  I also felt like a dope for scrambling to catch up with the routine everybody else was doing, thinking it was the class, but actually it wasn't.

Our teacher looked every bit like he'd be a yoga instructor.  Long hair, kind of hippish, but very calm, soft spoken, yet authoritative.  Immediately I liked him very much.  He scans the room and just says "there are new people here."  Yup, that's me...  Bright pink girl who randomly follows along with other's warm-ups while wearing the stupid socks and a capri skirt skirt.  But as it turns out, the woman directly in front of me, she was new too.  Thank you God, I'm not alone.

He looks at the center of the room, in the direction of me and the other new woman (how is she wearing purple too?  Did I miss the memo?) and says "move back one row."  Then he says "move to your right."  I stare at him blankly.  He says it again.  I say "who, me?" and he just says again "move to your right" while kind of focusing on a spot halfway between me and the woman in front of me.  Who is he talking to?  Who does he want who to do what?  I say again, "You mean me? I move right?"  Then he looks in our direction but not at either of us, wide eyed, shrugging, leaning to my right, maybe a little irritated that we can't follow basic directions.  The other new girl, she turns around, looks at me slightly panicked, obviously just as confused on what to do, hoping that I get something she doesn't.  Finally the lady next to me clues in both of us out by saying quietly, "He means the other new girl move to the back row and you slide over.  He doesn't use names and he likes new people to go to the back so they can see the class."  Ah, gotcha.

Lesson number two...  Our teacher speaks like a fortune cookie.

We get ourselves arraigned and settled while he rolls out his mat, casually apologizes for

Had to to take all my Alex and Ani off too...

being late, and says something about the importance of yoga and the ritual of it, how it connects us to our inner selves and frees us of distraction...  While he fiddles with his cell phone.  All righty.  So far, this teacher is very Vermont...  And anybody who knows anybody from Vermont or has been to Vermont knows exactly what I mean.  It's not an insult, it's actually a compliment, and really a huge comfort.  For the uninitiated, with Vermont living comes a level of casual informality that oozes into everything and just makes you feel at ease.  Vermonters are free and relaxed, and for us uptight New Hampshire folks who take ourselves too seriously, it's really a trip.

Then he says "Sometimes we make choices that we know are negative to our beings and will impact us negatively...  Does anybody else do things they know to be negative to their being but they simply do them anyway?"  Who me?  The girl who ate most of a pint of Ben and Jerry's during last night's "Mad Men" premiere, knowing it'd make me sick?  Yeah, I know all about bad choices and negativity.  Wanting to start off in the spirit of honesty, I shoot my hand up, as does the woman next to me, clearly emboldened by my admission of guilt.  We are the only ones who raise our hands.  Ten other people in class, we are the only two sinners in a church of Saints.  Or, more probably, the only two New Hampshire folks in a room of Vermonters.

Lesson number three...  Do not raise your hand.  Ever.

The teacher responds "I know.  I could tell when I entered the room.  There's a sense of it."  Sweet.  My pink-shirt wearing, ice cream binging aura is palpable.  The lady next to me who helped us before whispers "I never make bad choices...  I can't afford to."  Well that's helpful and not at all creepy.

Bad choices? What bad choices?

Finally, the guy goes into the routine.  I was delighted to find I knew most of the poses and could do them comfortably, especially since the teacher didn't actually do 90% of the moves.  He left it to the clearly experienced women in the front row to go through as guides.  He did coach us through the routine brilliantly, did chants, walked around and corrected our form, and went to people who said they needed extra help in the deep stretches.  My rough start and his quirkiness aside, he was a fantastic teacher who offered corrections without embarrassing anybody, support without judgment, and encouraged challenge without intimidation.  At this point, I was loving every second of the class.  

Once things got going...  I didn't feel like a moron.  I felt confident.  I felt accomplished.  I felt at peace.  And, surprisingly enough, I felt beautiful.  Maybe it sounds strange, but towards the end of the routine were a series of moves he said were to focus on grace and balance, maybe I didn't hit them perfectly, but when I did them, I felt like a long and lean dancer who does this stuff every day.  As weird as it sounds, especially considering my challenges as of late, it was nice to not just not feel self-conscious.     

Not self-conscious, that is, until my cell phone went off.  Stupid me, I forgot to turn off the alarm that reminds me to take my Prednisone, and it makes noise even if my phone is on "silent."  I honestly think it mostly blended in to the hippy music the guy was playing and only I (and the entire back row) noticed.  

Freaking mortifying.  

Yet, I'm signed up for next week and really looking forward to it.  It was an overall beautiful experience that left me a bit misty at parts.  I am stunned that I was actually able to clear my mind, relax, and enjoy the simple complexity of it all.  The relaxation meditation at the end of the class was worth it by itself.  I'll go every week for that five minutes of perfection and peace.  

Want to dress disruptively for your yoga class too? Head to Raw Threads!

Hopefully, I'll be less of a noob next time though...  And please, somebody remind me about the dang phone alarm.  

So...  Let's discuss:

• Yoga class, yay or nay?
• Is there a rule about yoga and purple that I should know about?
• Vermont or New Hampshire?
• Please tell me I'm not alone in my cell phone blooper...

Jerusha

My focus this week

Hello again Monday...  We meet again.  I seem to hate you less now that I'm setting goals for the week and giving myself benchmarks to hit.  That's good, right?  

Actually, I'm pretty proud of my week last week.  I laid out some clear, obtainable goals and I put forward some great progress:

• Fitbit is getting quite the exercise.  Not only did I hit my 10k per day goal every day this week, on most days I blew it right out of the water.  Not only that, I hit 100% of the fitness goals (steps, miles, calories, floors, and active minutes) five out of seven days.  I missed my mileage goal on Wednesday because I accidentally fell asleep at 6pm thanks to meds from my procedure, and on Monday I just flaked out.  Not sure what happened there.  But both days, frustratingly enough, I was only .25 miles away from hitting the goal. Lesson: check my stats at the end of the day. # PayAttention

Nailed it!

• Moov, we're getting there.  Ok, I'm trying here people.  I really am.  I'm happy to say I did use my Moov once and I had brilliant results.  I even hit Level 7 and did five intervals instead of the suggested minimum of three before stomach pain and a dead battery conspired against me.  Then it died.  And I couldn't find my charger.  Even after tearing apart the house.  However, I found it last night (at midnight actually) and I'm ready to go again this week. #ThirdTimeIsTheCharm

• The gym (insert dramatic music here).  Through impulsiveness and bad planning, I didn't realize I couldn't get to the gym Monday through Wednesday (Monday I forgot to sign up for daycare and it was full, Tuesday is just too crazy, Wednesday I had an appointment all day)...  I did, however, go Thursday and Friday for two hours.  I would have gone Sunday, but I didn't realize it was Easter.  This all circles back to me being not such a great planner.  So I fell short of my goal, but I think I went as often as was realistic given how crazy my week was.  #ImCountingIt   

• Meal planning.  Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday were meal planning success!  I stayed totally on menu and it was so liberating to not have to dread trying to figure out what's for dinner every night.  As far as the kids go, they actually ate it!  With very little arguing and a minor amount tears!  And people...  I made my own ricotta!  What?!   #Rockstar  

The low days are still 10k days!

Thanks to managing my food and exercise successfully last week, I lost 8 pounds!  Before you guys panic, I will say that my Prednisone taper is continuing and as a result I know at least half of that weight is my body no longer retaining water like a sponge.  I don't expect that this dramatic loss will continue and frankly I hope it won't.  I'm watching my calories and my nutrients, being seen weekly by doctors, etc etc.  I'm being safe, I pinky swear. 

I did have some pretty significant challenges last week.  I suffered a relapse of symptoms of my Lyme related co-infection at the end of the week.  That sucked.  Because of that, I wasn't able to go with my husband to see his family 3 hours away.  That sucked more.

By way of a refreshing change, I actually sat down and gave serious thought to my week and what was doable and not doable.  I think I've done a great job setting goals that are realistic, but still challenging:

• Fitbit, you're going to work harder.  I'm hitting my 10k per day and would actually like to hit more like 12k per day.  I'm also going to 100% my fitness goals for the week. #BecauseICan

• Back to the gym!  I'm hitting the gym Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, and doing the #Gimme5Challenge to help me with some weight training, something I suck at.  I'm also taking a flying leap out of my comfort zone by signing up for some fitness classes that are not things I'd typically do.  I've got a great mix of low and high impact: yoga, circuit training, aqua Zumba, and spinning.  Do you you follow me on Twitter?  I'm betting you'll want to at about 6pm, 7pm this week.  #EnjoyMyMisery    

Spoiling myself with tea

• I like to Moov it, Moov it.  We're going to have a treadmill date three times.  Since I'm at the gym so much this week, this should be no problem. #WheresMyCharger

• Be kind to me.  Last week was a rough week managing my Lyme related co-infections.  I spent most of Friday, all of Saturday night and Sunday night in absolute misery.  And as I decrease my Prednisone dosage again, this week promises to have more challenges.  So, more tea, less junk, more being reasonable about what I can tolerate.  I didn't menu plan as well as I should have, I regret it.  #Whoops   

• My family is everything.  Truth time...  I've done awful at setting time aside for my family these last couple of weeks.  Between being sick, writing, and redoing two websites, plus doing contract work for clients, I've just been out straight.  I need to set aside more time to be with my husband and the kids.  After unplugging to take a walk with the family in the middle of the day last week, I realized that this is something I need to do more often.  For me and them.  Did you know there's a world outside of work?  #FamilyTime

Twitter fun

So, there it is, laid out in black, white, and green.   I'm feeling pretty good about how I'm progressing and I feel light-years away from where I was a few weeks ago.  Progress!

Thanks and love to everybody who Tweeted and Instagramed their good vibes last Wednesday (yes, even the trolls, you guys were great too, in your own jerky way) and I'm glad I gave everybody some good laughs...  I'm also glad I had the clarity to realize it was best to leap off of Twitter and onto Pinterest when my meds really kicked in.  

As far as my motivational picture for the week...  I think this one looks good.  My husband suggested "aw, f-it" but I'm not sure that's where I want to go this week.  Maybe next week.  Or after circuit training.  Apparently that class is brutal.

So let's discuss:

• What are your goals for the week?
• Have you ever been to any classes where you're the fish out of water?
• How awesome is Teavana tea! That's not a question. I just want to hear others tell me how awesome they think it is too.

Found on Pinterest, sourced from here

Jerusha

Jerusha

Sorry, not sorry for the random fizzy owl picture, but it is my happy picture for the week. These guys are my little good luck charms and I've been practicing my photography.  I was really happy with how this picture came out.  Kind of funky, right?

So I'm diving into this week bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to take back the day, kick butt, so on and so on.  So how did I do on my goals from last week?

Last week Nuun was my hydration hero

• Fitbit - We had a bumpy middle-of-the-week, but I came back strong.  I hit my 10k per day Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  Not only did I hit the 10k per day, but I hit every fitness goal on each of those days. #Winning

• Moov - Well, I still love you and even though I didn't use you Monday through Thursday, I did finally buckle down and do the 7 Minute+ Workout on Friday.  Good, right?  Wrong.  I spent most of Friday and Saturday wanting to die.  Note to self: anything resembling heavy cardio or abdominal work will lead to much regret. #LessonLearned

• Gutsy Girl - Did you notice I followed you almost to the letter Friday, most of Saturday, and all of Sunday?  Good food choices = empowerment.  Empowerment means not wanting to eat the frosting off the 12 pack of cupcakes my son bought at the grocery store and then blame it on fairies. #Hypothetical

• 13.1 miles - I blew that goal right out of the water.  My total Fitbit miles for the week are in and around 35.  Not too shabby at all.  That's all my walking and activity for the week, not just actual walking/dreadmill time. #JustSaying

Look at those stats! Well, not Tuesday or Wednesday.

Goals for this week -

• Welcome back, Fitbit.  We're still doing 10k per day and I'm using you to track my calories for the week.  I've actually been food logging since Friday and I'm doing pretty well (in terms of honesty, anway).  And Fitbit? In exchange for being my wrist coach, I won't forget to charge you mid-week again.  #MyBad

• Moov, I'm not giving up on you.  I don't care that I have the physique of an apple right now, no anything that involves ab work or anything that causes any abdominal movement.  So I want to brisk walk at Level 7 three times this week.  #Optimistic

Easier said than done

• The gym.  Oh God, the gym.  I'm going to the gym this week and I'm going to go three times.  This fills me with such anxiety that I can't even.  But I'm facing my fears, the treadmill, and the free weights and getting my butt back in there.  #MoralSupportNeeded #FacingTheMeanGirls

• I did a full on meal plan this week.  Why?  My doctor says it's time to start "testing myself."  This is code for "you paid a $200 copay to be told make choices that will make you miserable."  Sounds fun, right?  I've got wistful hopes that when I put pea and asparagus soup with homemade ricotta in front of my husband and kids, they'll eat it, love it, and not think I've officially gone off the deep end. #WishfulThinking

Still haven't settled on a running plan for the 5k at the end of April and I have to knock that out.  Honestly I feel like if I keep up with my walking and my diet, I can finish no problem.  I won't PR and I may not even do anything beyond a brisk walk, but I'm tackling that all one day at a time. 

In big news for the week, on Wednesday is my big scan, iron workup, and injectable qualifying appointments.  Yup, for those of you keeping track, I scheduled major appointments related to my health for April Fool's Day.  Oh, the irony, especially considering how ridiculously superstitious I am.  Right now my biggest fear is forgetting I'm not supposed to wear eyeliner (yes, that's a real restriction) and not the results themselves.  I expect this will change in and around 12:59pm on Wednesday. Stay tuned.

Speaking of medical fun, the Prednisone taper continues and my reaction to it can be described as nothing short of nightmarish.  Insert statement about my hatred of Prednisone here.  As a result, my doctor has adjusted/extended my taper from 14 days to a month and a half. Because awesome.  

This week's motivational picture...  I don't know.  It speaks to me this week.  Don't judge me.

Sourced from here, found on Pinterest. Like most of my life.

Jerusha

Sorry I'm such a bad friend you guys...

Not going to lie, I'm doing a pretty suck job of keeping up with my goals that I was pushing for on Monday.  While I hit my 10k per day goals on Monday and Thursday, I didn't on Tuesday and Wednesday.  I can say it's because I forgot to charge my Fitbit, which I did, but in reality, I just had a rough couple of days.  And working out with the Moov?  Yeah, that hasn't been happening either.  I don't even want to talk about the whole Gutsy Girl Bible eating plan right now...  Let's just say I've been eating badly, feeling badly, and paying for it badly.

The simple fact is I'm not in my groove at all and I'm having a hard time finding my way back in.

A lot of it is that I started my Prednisone taper this week and that has been absolutely brutal beyond words.  It's messed with my motivation and my moods and now it's absolutely wrecking my body.  Everything is sore all the time, like somebody has been beating me with a bag sack of oranges.  On top of that, for the life of me, during the day I can't stay awake and at night I just can't get to sleep.  That leaves me feeling tired, frustrated, discouraged, and fully triggered for everything from binge eating to binge TV watching to binge doing nothing.  While watching most of Mad Men Season 7 in one sitting is an accomplishment, I'm not sure it's the accomplishment I was hoping for this week.  It was a very good season though...  I'm so hype for the second half. #OffTopic

Like I said, I feel trapped in my body and it really, really sucks.

Small changes make big impacts

The nice thing is, today is a new day and I recognize the multitude of mistakes in eating an entire bag of Smartfood Popcorn in one sitting and I'm ready to dust off and try again.  

Clearly, my new friend Prednisone is messing with my need for food pretty wildly.  My sugar craving is out-of-control and I'm wanting to eat absolutely everything that isn't nailed down.  I went through and swept out my kitchen of triggers and honestly, I plan on spending as little time as possible in there.  Did I mention I want to eat everything?  Literally, everything.  Since I can't be on Weight Watchers right now, I have no accountability in what I eat and that's not good.  Instead, I'm keeping a food log through Fitbit.  While I can't diet, I do need to track just how much I'm eating and how many calories I'm pouring into myself.  Spoiler alert...  It's a lot.

Next up, I clearly defined some times that I'm setting aside to exercise.  Nothing big, just little chunks every few hours.  I set my phone alarm and everything so the guilt factor in hitting the snooze should keep me from wanting to skip my activity for "just one more thing."  Moov, dang it, I'm going to use you I swear I am.  

I'm slowly realizing that coming back to a healthy lifestyle after a debilitating illness is something of a major process with a lot of physical and mental roadblocks.  In many ways it's more frustrating than being a beginner because instead of the victory that comes with saying "Woo-hoo! I hit (insert milestone here) for the first time and it's awesome!" you're hit with a seemingly endless series of frustrating revelations that things you could do before you can't do now.  You can't help but compare where you were at your best to where you are now at your worst and realizing how far back you've fallen.  It's very humbling to look through beginners exercise routines and running plans knowing that only a few months ago it would have been a cake walk and now it's a strenuous workout.  

Mmmm...  Cake walk...  I want cake so bad right now.  Somebody needs to make the Cake Walk 5k.  I'd PR that bad boy like you cannot even believe.

No more perfect tomorrows, focus on today!

My mind is still not at all wrapped around the fact that in December I was well into training for a half marathon in February, and doing a pretty kick-butt job, but now I can't even really go up the stairs without wanting to take a break because I'm so out-of-breath.  It really seems surreal.  Who would have thought my "hey, I'm not feeling so great" downward slide in January would end with me holding a shovel at the bottom of a pit by March? 

I think the thing I need to remind myself is that everything is temporary.  The bad stuff, the pain, the stupid medications, the cravings, and the feelings of not being where I want to be, it doesn't last.  But along with that, neither does the motivation.  It's all well and good to say I'm ready to battle back from Lyme Disease and the co-infections I'm dealing with, but without fueling my need for motivation as well as my desire for change, that shovel I'm holding in my ever deepening pit will just get deeper and deeper.  By remembering the bad stuff doesn't last, hopefully I can pull through to the good stuff.  But by remembering that the motivation doesn't last either, maybe I can train myself to take a dose of motivation to help me grow stronger.  Because clearly, medication isn't enough to get me through recovery...  I need something stronger and longer lasting that will form a long-term healthy me and not one that has to run from illness non-stop.  Ah, a me that isn't recovering from or coming down with something...  What a beautiful thought.

Also, Prednisone, seriously, I hate you so much.

At least I went for a walk yesterday... Bonus points because it was raining.

Jerusha